I shared just a few weeks ago about my adventures last April when a lump was found in my breast. If you didn’t read that you can here. I just recently went for my six month recheck. Which was less evasive but not without it’s own set of “fun” (heavy sarcasm) times. I mean how do you loose a person in a closet sized changing/waiting room? I wish I was kidding but they “misplaced” me I was told. For 35 minutes, thankfully I had a book cause the decor in there was depressing.
Sadly the lump is still there. Now I confess that I hoped that cutting the caffeine ,processed and most sugars ( I eat honey) , white flour and eating a pretty processed food free diet would have it totally gone. I have to keep reminding myself of the words I heard Andrea Beaman (my hero) say this past summer at one of her cooking classes at Whole Foods, “It takes time to get well. Give it time to work. You don’t get sick overnight”. She’s right and I knew it the moment the woman put the ultrasound to my breast and found the lump faster than Nascar pit guys can change one tire. I held back the tears as I stared at the wall.I didn’t want her to find it. I really didn’t want her to find it that fast. I asked the tech woman if I could look and as soon as she was done taking the pics she needed I was able to turn and look but she didn’t understand my need to look. I would think most people want to see something that is in their body but I know I could be wrong.
As I looked at the screen I felt relief. It was not the same angry life sucking feeling I got staring at that lump. The shape was different and smoother like a stone that had rolled in a river being shaped along it’s travels. This case I think it was the healthy foods that washed over this sucker and smoothed it out calming whatever was in it. It was smaller to me but the tech said she couldn’t confirm that the doctor would need to look at it. She did say it was less vascular. I exhaled and shared I was so happy to see the changes and that I am positive the healthier lifestyle I was living was a result of that. Of course she told me not to put to much hope in that but you could tell curiosity got the best of her and she had to ask about it and as I explained what I had been doing and that I also lost some weight, my normally broken out skin is clearer, and the host of other benefits that simple changes made she shook her head and nodded and then went “huh” and walked me back to my changing room.
To my shock and surprise my midwife called the following day. Not typical of her. If she doesn’t have bad news or medication to give she just doesn’t call meaning no news is good news. She confirmed my need to return in six months and said that the changes to the lump are “insignificant” and it was like she talked to the tech gal with her saying not to put to much hope into this “food thing” it’s most likely nothing and will go away on it’s own. Yeah ok but what if it’s not is my thought? And why is there a lump in there to begin with? Maybe I don’t think this is normal and I don’t have to accept it. Does anyone get sick of hearing that from a doctor? Oh you have this condition because your this age? I am not buying into that.
After the appointment I took the same long country back roads home. This time my thoughts were not racing with fear or worry but more on action steps I could take to take even better care of my body. I plan to find a good quality fish oil to add in along with my healthy eating. I am looking for more ways to relax and plan more soothing self care into my days. I plan to laugh more and enjoy the things I do, because even if this lump is nothing, life has no set expiration date to which to set things that you dream or want to do off till later and try to get in at the last minute. Life is a lifetime, and we can choose to make each and every day the best it can be and savor the moments like we would a fine wine or meal. That’s just what I intend to do. Savor every delicious bite of my life.
Till next time, I hope you will be savoring the moments in your life too.